“I had thought that engaging in a relationship with Hades might have meant that he would come to terms with it, or perhaps... quieted this mysterious whispering in his ear.”
He sighs.
“Especially since Hades has come back from his little... nap with a terrible scar.”
He frowns, though only briefly. Hythlodaeus is not actively petting Tropius, so he swings his massive head into Steven’s lap instead.
“If this is the last sex of his life... Is it conscionable to allow it to be of such poor quality?”
"That," Steven says with a sigh, "is up to you to decide. I am not going to advise you whether or not you want to be a homewrecker, Hythlo, even if it's against the man who technically homewrecked you."
He pets Banania's head as he sips his coffee.
"Dirk," Steven says, "has... a lot of stupid opinions about sexual positions and what they say about you. He doesn't believe in switches and seems to think that being submissive and being fucked are the same thing. So I'm sure he's under the mistaken impression that sucking cock is an inherently submissive act."
He snorts. "Well. I'm sure you could disabuse him of that notion if you ever got your mouth on him. If I didn't have a jealous fiance and if Dirk wasn't... basically like a weird little brother to me at this point, I could disabuse him of it--if you can't control a man while you're deep-throating him, you're not doing it right."
He takes another sip and shakes his head. "Dirk's problem--if you'll allow me to put in terms that might be more familiar to you Amaurotines, given how Ancient Greek you all seem to be--is that he wants to jump straight to being the erastes without ever doing time as an eromenos."
He can’t help but let out a little laugh of surprise at hearing the familiar terms.
“That does seem to be the case, yes. I told Hades as such,” he lets out a little sigh. “And it seems I’m still protective of my own eromenos.”
Hythlodaeus smiles at Banania soaking up all the attention. Poor Banania needed it after that terrible day.
“He does not seem to like to learn, as strange as that may seem. Yet I doubt I’ll solve him in a single conversation. At least we are getting along better now. I know you are only newly arrived, but did you happen to see the news?”
Steven grins. They're not the terms he'd use, but one thing he does have a pretty decent grasp on is the history of what he considers to be his people.
"And no," Steven agrees. "He doesn't. And I don't know enough of his history to be sure of why, but I think he doesn't like to mostly because if he admits he needs to learn something, it mean he didn't already know it. And Dirk prides himself on always knowing everything.
"And yeah. I did. It was on the news in the airport once we'd reached Johto again--I'd a hard time keeping a straight face about the Sticky... sorry, Tricky Bandits." He snickers now. "God, were you helping them?"
“There are many little parts of him that Hades will need to break him of! It is good that I’ve released him from his duties for now.”
Hythlodaeus finishes his piece of pie and scoots the plate over to Banania to lick the crumbs off.
“I dare say they couldn’t have done it without me!” He taps his temple. “As it happens, I have a preternatural understanding of physics. It might have taken hours or days otherwise.”
He stands and straightens out his clothes, offering Steven a hand to help him up.
“And speaking of the airport...” he smiles slightly and tilts his head towards the hoard in the kitchen.
Yes please, help him with removing this banana dinosaur from his person without making the dinosaur unhappy.
"Usually Kevin McCallister isn't helping the Wet Bandits," Steven says once he's on his feet, with deep amusement. "That said, I hope you have videos."
He's still grinning as he follows Hythlodaeus into the kitchen. "Right," he says. "Your books." He touches the top of one brown-paper wrapped parcel. "Your seeds." Another parcel. "Your honey and your herbs." Two more parcels. "Gardening products." Another parcel. "The souvenir for Hades." This is, in fact, a decorative crate made of balsa wood, with stencils of Dialga and Palkia on the side. On the lid there's a picture of Mount Coronet that rather resembles a travel poster and the words A GIFT FROM SINNOH... are written atop in a decorative fashion. "And finally, something I picked out just for you, since everything else was on request."
He picks up the final parcel and hands it to Hythlodaeus.
"I'm sure your popular culture references are very funny," he says, not maliciously. He kneels in front of the table as looks over the different items, organizing them.
He looks over the decorative crate. Hythlodaeus has absolutely no way to identify an airport souvenir and finds it nice all the same. "Oh, lovely! We have several baby Pokémon that should benefit from this wonderfully..."
He examines the gardening products, expression lighting up when he comes upon a berry growth formula. "Very good, Steven."
"Ah, very cute. They say you can understand much about a culture based on its pottery, and they would be right." He moves the planter to the counter by the sunnier, making mental notes about which seeds to use there.
"You brought me back nearly the entire shop, didn't you?" his smile is subtle enough to be genuine. "I hope you had a wonderful time on your holiday."
"They are utterly accurate," Steven says, "and it's a damn shame I can't show you Home Alone. It came out when I was ten years old and I laughed so hard I started coughing."
But he's quiet while he watches Hythlodaeus survey his presents and his own smile is as tiny and as true.
"Not the entire store," he admits. "But I do like giving people presents. Because they'll owe me, of course, and debt is its own form of control--" And it was a relief to just be able to say things like this to Hythlodaeus, to not have to dissemble about his more self-serving qualities. "--but also because it just feels... mm, good, I guess? To give things to people. Especially if they're my people. And-- well. You're one of my people, Hythlo. With all the selfish possessiveness that implies--but then it's mutual, isn't it? I'm one of your people."
He chuckles softy. "Yes. I had a great time on my holiday. And I honestly hope you had a good time playing around with Dirk and Hades--word choice entirely deliberate."
He laughs, open and honestly. "Ah yes, but that does not quite work on someone of my nature as you well know! The inherent sense of indebtedness, that is. I do appreciate the thoughtfulness and the usefulness of these items as well as the call to community... A community that I do miss dearly, though I do have some designs to fix that. And yes, as one of my people, I will call upon you when the time is right."
He sighs. "If only we might play around in the way I would like. I had... Well, an entertaining time, at the very least. I understand him better now— Dirk, of course. Which does help my odds."
"At least one of us does," Steven says, shaking his head. "Well. No. That's not completely true--I do understand him a little better than I did once. And-- hell. Maybe you can persuade him into a menage a trois. Stranger things have happened."
He's smiling at Hythlodaeus. "I'm glad you decided to make a project of me," he says suddenly, surprised not so much by the sentiment as the desire to suddenly tell Hythlodaeus of it. "I really am. It's nice to have someone else that I can... well. Speak freely with." He laughs suddenly. "Who'd have thought you'd turn the House of Hades into a safe space for psychopaths?"
(It's what he is, Steven thinks, undiagnosed as he might be. He can at least own it, if only with Hythlo.)
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Nsfw chatter
He sighs.
“Especially since Hades has come back from his little... nap with a terrible scar.”
He frowns, though only briefly. Hythlodaeus is not actively petting Tropius, so he swings his massive head into Steven’s lap instead.
“If this is the last sex of his life... Is it conscionable to allow it to be of such poor quality?”
Re: Nsfw chatter
He pets Banania's head as he sips his coffee.
"Dirk," Steven says, "has... a lot of stupid opinions about sexual positions and what they say about you. He doesn't believe in switches and seems to think that being submissive and being fucked are the same thing. So I'm sure he's under the mistaken impression that sucking cock is an inherently submissive act."
He snorts. "Well. I'm sure you could disabuse him of that notion if you ever got your mouth on him. If I didn't have a jealous fiance and if Dirk wasn't... basically like a weird little brother to me at this point, I could disabuse him of it--if you can't control a man while you're deep-throating him, you're not doing it right."
He takes another sip and shakes his head. "Dirk's problem--if you'll allow me to put in terms that might be more familiar to you Amaurotines, given how Ancient Greek you all seem to be--is that he wants to jump straight to being the erastes without ever doing time as an eromenos."
Nsfw chatter
“That does seem to be the case, yes. I told Hades as such,” he lets out a little sigh. “And it seems I’m still protective of my own eromenos.”
Hythlodaeus smiles at Banania soaking up all the attention. Poor Banania needed it after that terrible day.
“He does not seem to like to learn, as strange as that may seem. Yet I doubt I’ll solve him in a single conversation. At least we are getting along better now. I know you are only newly arrived, but did you happen to see the news?”
Re: Nsfw chatter
"And no," Steven agrees. "He doesn't. And I don't know enough of his history to be sure of why, but I think he doesn't like to mostly because if he admits he needs to learn something, it mean he didn't already know it. And Dirk prides himself on always knowing everything.
"And yeah. I did. It was on the news in the airport once we'd reached Johto again--I'd a hard time keeping a straight face about the Sticky... sorry, Tricky Bandits." He snickers now. "God, were you helping them?"
no subject
Hythlodaeus finishes his piece of pie and scoots the plate over to Banania to lick the crumbs off.
“I dare say they couldn’t have done it without me!” He taps his temple. “As it happens, I have a preternatural understanding of physics. It might have taken hours or days otherwise.”
He stands and straightens out his clothes, offering Steven a hand to help him up.
“And speaking of the airport...” he smiles slightly and tilts his head towards the hoard in the kitchen.
IT EXISTS ON EBAY TOO
"Usually Kevin McCallister isn't helping the Wet Bandits," Steven says once he's on his feet, with deep amusement. "That said, I hope you have videos."
He's still grinning as he follows Hythlodaeus into the kitchen. "Right," he says. "Your books." He touches the top of one brown-paper wrapped parcel. "Your seeds." Another parcel. "Your honey and your herbs." Two more parcels. "Gardening products." Another parcel. "The souvenir for Hades." This is, in fact, a decorative crate made of balsa wood, with stencils of Dialga and Palkia on the side. On the lid there's a picture of Mount Coronet that rather resembles a travel poster and the words A GIFT FROM SINNOH... are written atop in a decorative fashion. "And finally, something I picked out just for you, since everything else was on request."
He picks up the final parcel and hands it to Hythlodaeus.
ADORABle
He looks over the decorative crate. Hythlodaeus has absolutely no way to identify an airport souvenir and finds it nice all the same. "Oh, lovely! We have several baby Pokémon that should benefit from this wonderfully..."
He examines the gardening products, expression lighting up when he comes upon a berry growth formula. "Very good, Steven."
"Ah, very cute. They say you can understand much about a culture based on its pottery, and they would be right." He moves the planter to the counter by the sunnier, making mental notes about which seeds to use there.
"You brought me back nearly the entire shop, didn't you?" his smile is subtle enough to be genuine. "I hope you had a wonderful time on your holiday."
Re: ADORABle
But he's quiet while he watches Hythlodaeus survey his presents and his own smile is as tiny and as true.
"Not the entire store," he admits. "But I do like giving people presents. Because they'll owe me, of course, and debt is its own form of control--" And it was a relief to just be able to say things like this to Hythlodaeus, to not have to dissemble about his more self-serving qualities. "--but also because it just feels... mm, good, I guess? To give things to people. Especially if they're my people. And-- well. You're one of my people, Hythlo. With all the selfish possessiveness that implies--but then it's mutual, isn't it? I'm one of your people."
He chuckles softy. "Yes. I had a great time on my holiday. And I honestly hope you had a good time playing around with Dirk and Hades--word choice entirely deliberate."
no subject
He sighs. "If only we might play around in the way I would like. I had... Well, an entertaining time, at the very least. I understand him better now— Dirk, of course. Which does help my odds."
no subject
He's smiling at Hythlodaeus. "I'm glad you decided to make a project of me," he says suddenly, surprised not so much by the sentiment as the desire to suddenly tell Hythlodaeus of it. "I really am. It's nice to have someone else that I can... well. Speak freely with." He laughs suddenly. "Who'd have thought you'd turn the House of Hades into a safe space for psychopaths?"
(It's what he is, Steven thinks, undiagnosed as he might be. He can at least own it, if only with Hythlo.)