[He shifts, about to change the hand holding the phone when he looks over at his cutieflies. He whispers something to them, barely audible, and one of them floats up to snag his phone in its little legs and hold it for him.]
[And then he just listens to Steven talk, already beginning to sort and extrapolate the information. He knows that he's been alive far, far too long to possibly tease apart what he was born with versus how he was raised. He considers for a moment that all this change was finally taking a real toll on him.
[When he's finished he makes a thoughtful noise.]
I understand, Steven. There are souls upon souls that I wish I could see again. It sounds as if that she must bargain with the ability to visit you that she is well-equipped.
She has to be summoned, but she's got this friend, Shinobu, that can do that. And I think my future self was learning how to do it too.
Anyway, they'd both-- well, mostly they needed to get away from everyone. Go somewhere quieter and just-- either lie down and not do anything for a while or lose themselves in a project. They both had hobbies, you know. Dad did pyrography--that is, wood-burning? And Charley did all kinds of things. Cooking. A lot of textile work. And writing. She was good at writing fiction, which I've never been--such a strong imagination, a real ear for dialog--she had some really great shit, both original works and fanworks. I even beta-read some of the fanfic when it was a fandom we shared.
But, I mean, the important thing for them is that they had some space to just-- get away from everything. And time to not force themselves to pretend to be normal people. That's why I told you that you don't have to force yourself to do normal people facial expressions and shit around me. Because while you don't really pretend to be a normal person, not exactly, outwardly emoting for other people does still count a little for that? And acting all the time is fucking tiring, even if it's something you do as easy as breathing.
I think with people like us--people with minds which are fundamentally different from other people's--whether it's what I have, what Charley has, or both of those--we just... need some time and space sometimes where we can be ourselves without pretense. Be psychopaths or autistics or-- or cognitive constructs brought to life. Because pretending to be someone you're not is so goddamn stressful.
That's what I didn't, couldn't tell Hades. That you come to hang out with me because I know who you are. I mean. He's right. I don't know Hythlodaeus of Amaurot at all. I don't-- have the kind of grasp of his fundamental character that years of familiarity and love has given Hades. But I know this you, the you that you are now, the you that's helping me get my head on straight, the you that's actually deeply worried and messed up because he came to life when he wasn't supposed to, that loves his ex-boyfriend enough to make friends with a guy he should by all rights hate just to make peace and--
Look. I don't know Original You. But I like You You, Hythlo. I like this version of you a lot. And-- fuck. I don't know. You can always be yourself around me, okay? I don't care how alien that is. Everyone deserves space to be themselves.
[There's a moment of silence.]
Sorry. I didn't mean to go all friendship speech on you like that. But I do mean it, Hythlo.
[As if Hythlodaeus wasn't used to people talking for twice as long as a matter of course.]
...I don't come off as normal? I swear to you, in Amaurot, I was normal.
[This is a genuine fucking shock that seems to put a lot of his interactions over the last couple months into perspective.]
Well, original me is long since dead. I may not be him, not really, but I don't have any competition either. I do make space for myself wherever I can... At least I thought so. Lately, it feels as if I have itches I just can't seem to scratch. Yet in spite of that, I do appreciate this. I do appreciate you, though it is impossible for me to explain to Hades.
Well yeah. Because then you'd have to explain about being Construct Hythlodaeus and then he'd be a dick about it, because you probably wouldn't count as person to him anymore and we all know what he's like when he doesn't think people are people. And even if he did decide you're a person, he'd still be a dick, because he'd be hurt you didn't tell him before.
And-- well. You probably were in Amaurot. Or more likely, you were like Charley, whose normal girl face is more like... acceptable eccentricity face. Not full-on normality, but the kind of kookiness that people aren't bothered by, because it's cute and harmless. She had this whole Manic Pixie Dream Girl thing going on. The kind of weirdness that almost doesn't count.
But. Well. Different worlds and different societies have different behavioral standards. So here you're less Acceptable Eccentric and more... Full On Weirdo. Sorry.
... but, well, that probably explains why I was pretty chill about being around you before you told me you were Hades' buddy and I had a tiny panic attack over it. And why as soon as I pushed past my fears and gave you a chance, I started to really, genuinely like you. Because... well. I honestly and genuinely love hanging around people like you? Like you and Charley and Dad. It's-- nice. Familiar. Homey. Good.
[Steven smiles, even though Hythlodaeus can't see it. Maybe he can hear it in his voice a little.]
You should meet Entrapta. She's another one like you guys. I knew it the first time she posted on the network. That's why I jumped at giving her the lift from Olivine to Azalea. I think you'd find her refreshing. I know you're more of a biologist than an engineer like her, but I'd still like to watch you two together.
[ There’s a lot of ground to cover here, so it’s good that his mental notes are unparalleled. ]
Was she playing pretend as a pixie? And that is considered normal?
[ He wasn’t loving mortal standards of anything, as per usual. ]
Rest assured, that I have met only one person that might properly fit into Amaurot as it is aside from who Hades used to be... So I suppose I shouldn’t be too surprised.
[ He does a quick search in his memory— ]
Oh, her. The girl who doesn’t give context. I like her.
I know! Fuck context--she's delightful! You guys definitely need to meet.
And-- uh, no, sorry. 'Manic Pixie Dream Girl' is... it's the name for a sort of stock character in fiction. Film mostly. They're silly and quirky and girl-y and sweet and playful and they mostly exist for the depressed male protagonists to fall in love with and experience personal growth through loving. A lot of the time they don't get any backstory or interior life in these narratives. They're just-- there.
Anyway. Charley's version of pretending to be normal comes off a lot like your Manic Pixie Deam Girl stock character. It's easier for her to be like that instead of forcing her to act completely normal--but it's still an act, you know? And it does lead to the men in her life treating her like she's that stock character, that she's just there to make their lives magical and teach them how to love again. It's why-- it's why I get so protective about her when it comes to boys. Because it's really hard to trust that they do respect her as their own person and aren't just-- using her, I guess. Especially with how easily she gives her heart away.
[He makes a frustrated huff of sound.]
She did it with Hades, you know. Over the weird weekend. A lot of things are fuzzy, but Charley telling me about meeting him on the beach and having a fun afternoon together, almost like a date and just-- God. I'm so glad he's not really interested in women, because if he'd used my little sister to feel better about life and himself the same way those college boys did--
I mean. You know. Not that I can do anything. Not with the treaty. But I'd be very bitchy about it to you at the very least. Because Charley's been hurt by boys who treated her like their own cute little incarnation of personal growth. Badly too.
[Several things, of course. This description of her does sound like something that Hades might find delightful if he was struck in the right mood.]
Hades understands that people are not characters, and... At the very least he is very perceptive. He may have felt better being around her, but I doubt that it was at her expense. As I may be homey to you, she may be homey to him. ...At the very, very least he certainly didn't achieve any personal growth from it.
Not here. She's-- not in this world. She only came for the weird weekend. Back in our world...
She called them the Shadowlands. Stygia. I think it's where the dead that don't, can't move on stay. But she also said that with her friend Shinobu to summon her, she was staying around his place and mine a lot.
I figured as much, Steven. Even I am a ghost of sorts. You would not miss her so terribly were she here. In fact, I'm sure that I would have met her by now.
[But he wasn't specific, and his mind was on Charley rather than...]
Oh. Right. She's mostly traveling around with Winter, who's her companion and bodyguard and best friend. They'll go to a city and he'll take some work to get them funds and she'll explore around and eventually they'll travel to the next one. They're both breeders, I think? Entrapta definitely is.
Currently, though, they're both here in Goldenrod and probably will be until the Sinnoh Trip. Not sure about after.
Oh is he? That is a fascinating little piece of information to know. Well worth the lie I’ll have to come up with later.
[ He sighs. ]
I would not ordinarily mind, but Hades is a man who knows my mind as well as I do. You know well enough to corroborate anything that he asks about me, I’m sure.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[And then he just listens to Steven talk, already beginning to sort and extrapolate the information. He knows that he's been alive far, far too long to possibly tease apart what he was born with versus how he was raised. He considers for a moment that all this change was finally taking a real toll on him.
[When he's finished he makes a thoughtful noise.]
I understand, Steven. There are souls upon souls that I wish I could see again. It sounds as if that she must bargain with the ability to visit you that she is well-equipped.
What would they do when they were stressed?
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Anyway, they'd both-- well, mostly they needed to get away from everyone. Go somewhere quieter and just-- either lie down and not do anything for a while or lose themselves in a project. They both had hobbies, you know. Dad did pyrography--that is, wood-burning? And Charley did all kinds of things. Cooking. A lot of textile work. And writing. She was good at writing fiction, which I've never been--such a strong imagination, a real ear for dialog--she had some really great shit, both original works and fanworks. I even beta-read some of the fanfic when it was a fandom we shared.
But, I mean, the important thing for them is that they had some space to just-- get away from everything. And time to not force themselves to pretend to be normal people. That's why I told you that you don't have to force yourself to do normal people facial expressions and shit around me. Because while you don't really pretend to be a normal person, not exactly, outwardly emoting for other people does still count a little for that? And acting all the time is fucking tiring, even if it's something you do as easy as breathing.
I think with people like us--people with minds which are fundamentally different from other people's--whether it's what I have, what Charley has, or both of those--we just... need some time and space sometimes where we can be ourselves without pretense. Be psychopaths or autistics or-- or cognitive constructs brought to life. Because pretending to be someone you're not is so goddamn stressful.
That's what I didn't, couldn't tell Hades. That you come to hang out with me because I know who you are. I mean. He's right. I don't know Hythlodaeus of Amaurot at all. I don't-- have the kind of grasp of his fundamental character that years of familiarity and love has given Hades. But I know this you, the you that you are now, the you that's helping me get my head on straight, the you that's actually deeply worried and messed up because he came to life when he wasn't supposed to, that loves his ex-boyfriend enough to make friends with a guy he should by all rights hate just to make peace and--
Look. I don't know Original You. But I like You You, Hythlo. I like this version of you a lot. And-- fuck. I don't know. You can always be yourself around me, okay? I don't care how alien that is. Everyone deserves space to be themselves.
[There's a moment of silence.]
Sorry. I didn't mean to go all friendship speech on you like that. But I do mean it, Hythlo.
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...I don't come off as normal? I swear to you, in Amaurot, I was normal.
[This is a genuine fucking shock that seems to put a lot of his interactions over the last couple months into perspective.]
Well, original me is long since dead. I may not be him, not really, but I don't have any competition either. I do make space for myself wherever I can... At least I thought so. Lately, it feels as if I have itches I just can't seem to scratch. Yet in spite of that, I do appreciate this. I do appreciate you, though it is impossible for me to explain to Hades.
no subject
And-- well. You probably were in Amaurot. Or more likely, you were like Charley, whose normal girl face is more like... acceptable eccentricity face. Not full-on normality, but the kind of kookiness that people aren't bothered by, because it's cute and harmless. She had this whole Manic Pixie Dream Girl thing going on. The kind of weirdness that almost doesn't count.
But. Well. Different worlds and different societies have different behavioral standards. So here you're less Acceptable Eccentric and more... Full On Weirdo. Sorry.
... but, well, that probably explains why I was pretty chill about being around you before you told me you were Hades' buddy and I had a tiny panic attack over it. And why as soon as I pushed past my fears and gave you a chance, I started to really, genuinely like you. Because... well. I honestly and genuinely love hanging around people like you? Like you and Charley and Dad. It's-- nice. Familiar. Homey. Good.
[Steven smiles, even though Hythlodaeus can't see it. Maybe he can hear it in his voice a little.]
You should meet Entrapta. She's another one like you guys. I knew it the first time she posted on the network. That's why I jumped at giving her the lift from Olivine to Azalea. I think you'd find her refreshing. I know you're more of a biologist than an engineer like her, but I'd still like to watch you two together.
no subject
Was she playing pretend as a pixie? And that is considered normal?
[ He wasn’t loving mortal standards of anything, as per usual. ]
Rest assured, that I have met only one person that might properly fit into Amaurot as it is aside from who Hades used to be... So I suppose I shouldn’t be too surprised.
[ He does a quick search in his memory— ]
Oh, her. The girl who doesn’t give context. I like her.
no subject
And-- uh, no, sorry. 'Manic Pixie Dream Girl' is... it's the name for a sort of stock character in fiction. Film mostly. They're silly and quirky and girl-y and sweet and playful and they mostly exist for the depressed male protagonists to fall in love with and experience personal growth through loving. A lot of the time they don't get any backstory or interior life in these narratives. They're just-- there.
Anyway. Charley's version of pretending to be normal comes off a lot like your Manic Pixie Deam Girl stock character. It's easier for her to be like that instead of forcing her to act completely normal--but it's still an act, you know? And it does lead to the men in her life treating her like she's that stock character, that she's just there to make their lives magical and teach them how to love again. It's why-- it's why I get so protective about her when it comes to boys. Because it's really hard to trust that they do respect her as their own person and aren't just-- using her, I guess. Especially with how easily she gives her heart away.
[He makes a frustrated huff of sound.]
She did it with Hades, you know. Over the weird weekend. A lot of things are fuzzy, but Charley telling me about meeting him on the beach and having a fun afternoon together, almost like a date and just-- God. I'm so glad he's not really interested in women, because if he'd used my little sister to feel better about life and himself the same way those college boys did--
I mean. You know. Not that I can do anything. Not with the treaty. But I'd be very bitchy about it to you at the very least. Because Charley's been hurt by boys who treated her like their own cute little incarnation of personal growth. Badly too.
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[Several things, of course. This description of her does sound like something that Hades might find delightful if he was struck in the right mood.]
Hades understands that people are not characters, and... At the very least he is very perceptive. He may have felt better being around her, but I doubt that it was at her expense. As I may be homey to you, she may be homey to him. ...At the very, very least he certainly didn't achieve any personal growth from it.
[ Pleasing no one. ]
Where around does she stay?
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She called them the Shadowlands. Stygia. I think it's where the dead that don't, can't move on stay. But she also said that with her friend Shinobu to summon her, she was staying around his place and mine a lot.
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[But he wasn't specific, and his mind was on Charley rather than...]
I mean the other girl, Entrapta.
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Currently, though, they're both here in Goldenrod and probably will be until the Sinnoh Trip. Not sure about after.
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[ He makes a note to send her a message a little while later. ]
Well, is that all of your latest gossip, Steven?
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Oh, but you should know—that guy with the pigeon you helped the other day? He knows Dirk from back home.
[If you want a reason to cultivate John in the future, Hythlo.]
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[ He sighs. ]
I would not ordinarily mind, but Hades is a man who knows my mind as well as I do. You know well enough to corroborate anything that he asks about me, I’m sure.
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[He chuckles.]
Thought you'd be intrigued. Let me know if anything interesting happens with John?