[ Holding him securely in his lap, he holds him against his chest amid his words. They way he said that does make him think it was a sad Hail Mary. He rubs his back, his words coming confident and reassuring. ]
It would be foolish of him to not take you back, don’t you think? You need only to see it through.
[The rubbing...helps, as is obvious with how the tension seems to be subsiding just a touch. But not near enough to make the deeper pain and tension go away. The embarrassment of it all, the shame...]
...Or perhaps 'twas I who seized the role of the fool. 'Tis no matter, it takes far more than spurning and disappointment to discourage me.
[Truly, his tenacity and ambition is something to admire, but his obstinance...well, is another matter.
Regardless of all that, he knows he shouldn't be indulging in this comfort. Not when he knows that Dirk is alone right now, more than likely. No one to listen to him, no one to comfort him...]
There is some truth to that, yes, but...he and I are very similar, to a degree almost haunting. Though, it has been a comfort, I confess, finding one who can understand my travails, the weight of my burden...we have shared much with each other--yet he more than I.
Mayhap...that was my mistake--beyond the obvious, of course.
[This is cruel, isn't it? To be talking about this with Hythlodaeus--this Hythlodaeus shade who is burdened with Hythlodaeus' memories, his feelings, his love...
His face twists with a grimace, with regret and frustration with both himself and this entire situation. Then he shakes his head.]
...We should stop. I believe the answer is clear, besides. After all, I am here in your arms, and not his, am I not?
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It would be foolish of him to not take you back, don’t you think? You need only to see it through.
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[The rubbing...helps, as is obvious with how the tension seems to be subsiding just a touch. But not near enough to make the deeper pain and tension go away. The embarrassment of it all, the shame...]
...Or perhaps 'twas I who seized the role of the fool. 'Tis no matter, it takes far more than spurning and disappointment to discourage me.
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[ He sighs, resting his cheek upon the crown of his head. ]
...You can be foolish at times, yet that is how it goes, is it not? It is impossible to know a man’s mind so soon in a place such as this.
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[Truly, his tenacity and ambition is something to admire, but his obstinance...well, is another matter.
Regardless of all that, he knows he shouldn't be indulging in this comfort. Not when he knows that Dirk is alone right now, more than likely. No one to listen to him, no one to comfort him...]
There is some truth to that, yes, but...he and I are very similar, to a degree almost haunting. Though, it has been a comfort, I confess, finding one who can understand my travails, the weight of my burden...we have shared much with each other--yet he more than I.
Mayhap...that was my mistake--beyond the obvious, of course.
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You really do love him, then. [ Not as if he doesn’t know this, but it confirms something slightly dark inside of him. ]
Did you tell him so?
[ And besides, Dirk could have had someone to comfort him... yet he assured that he wouldn’t. ]
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Then, quietly and full of woe and regret:]
I did indeed. I should not have.
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[ He lets out a breath, thinking. ]
He is young. I wouldn’t lose hope just yet.
[ He pauses, unable to contain his question. ]
How did he react?
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His face twists with a grimace, with regret and frustration with both himself and this entire situation. Then he shakes his head.]
...We should stop. I believe the answer is clear, besides. After all, I am here in your arms, and not his, am I not?