[That earns Hythlodaeus a scowl. How dare you call him out on his feelings when he was clearly trying to avoid naming them!]
Must you frame it so predatory? Truly, not everyone practices your style of pursuit.
[Though, he's only getting this huffy about it because...well, he does plant to wear him down after a fashion. He knows it's what's necessary, and if he weren't so confident that this is indeed what Dirk likely wants in his heart of hearts, nor that this is what Dirk truly needs, he'd leave him be altogether.]
And I said naught about being in love. I'd like to believe myself past such folly.
And yet, it is tried and true. And I am your mentor...
[ There’s that scowl he knows and loves. ]
Your wording betrays you, my dear Angel of Truth. We waste air merely pretending it isn’t so. You have access to his rooms. What will be your first plan of attack?
[He waves him on, sourly taking a drink of his coffee to punctuate the dismissal.]
If you are implying I might ambush him in his personal chambers with some underhanded tactic, I will not. I wish to win him back, not rob him of his dignity.
[He retorts flatly. Still finding the familiar way in which they talk about memories of Hythlodaeus' strange, but now isn't the time to think too hard on that.]
But less that my confidence in you is worn, and more...well.
[Glancing at Hythlodaeus for a moment, he then flicks his gaze away from him, as if almost embarrassed.]
You see...when it comes to messy departures, I would say that one has little competition for the throne...in more ways than one.
[Both literal and figurative. He does notice Hythlodaeus' hands, but he refrains from commenting. If one wanted to give Hythlodaeus the benefit of the doubt, they'd assume this is a gesture for comforting. hades knows better, yet he refrains. Maybe he likes the...proximity.]
It is largely why I wish to give him some space. I--did not act my best, which I should not have allowed my emotions to get the better of me, but...
I knew he did not want me to go, even as he bade me to, I knew he needed my companionship, but he did not make such an easy task. He can be rather scathing when upset--and I do realize the irony behind my commenting on such. I am ever self-aware.
So you... Presumably you confessed your sins to him, he retaliated by telling you that I’m not quite-so-real, it escalated, you two had... I hope it was good as a matter of parting, at least.
[ Careful not to spill his coffee, he moves his hands around his hips and drags him into his lap. ]
[He hisses back at him bitterly. Though, it's hard to tell if that bitterness is because of denial or that he's angry that Hythlodaeus would entertain the possibility that it wasn't. Or, maybe he's just sore about this whole thing.
Maybe it's all of it.]
But it mattered little, because once we were done he cast me aside all the same! Not that I thought us making love would...change anything, but...
[ Holding him securely in his lap, he holds him against his chest amid his words. They way he said that does make him think it was a sad Hail Mary. He rubs his back, his words coming confident and reassuring. ]
It would be foolish of him to not take you back, don’t you think? You need only to see it through.
[The rubbing...helps, as is obvious with how the tension seems to be subsiding just a touch. But not near enough to make the deeper pain and tension go away. The embarrassment of it all, the shame...]
...Or perhaps 'twas I who seized the role of the fool. 'Tis no matter, it takes far more than spurning and disappointment to discourage me.
[Truly, his tenacity and ambition is something to admire, but his obstinance...well, is another matter.
Regardless of all that, he knows he shouldn't be indulging in this comfort. Not when he knows that Dirk is alone right now, more than likely. No one to listen to him, no one to comfort him...]
There is some truth to that, yes, but...he and I are very similar, to a degree almost haunting. Though, it has been a comfort, I confess, finding one who can understand my travails, the weight of my burden...we have shared much with each other--yet he more than I.
Mayhap...that was my mistake--beyond the obvious, of course.
[This is cruel, isn't it? To be talking about this with Hythlodaeus--this Hythlodaeus shade who is burdened with Hythlodaeus' memories, his feelings, his love...
His face twists with a grimace, with regret and frustration with both himself and this entire situation. Then he shakes his head.]
...We should stop. I believe the answer is clear, besides. After all, I am here in your arms, and not his, am I not?
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So you’ve fallen in love with him, and now you plan to circle like a vulture until he’s grown weak enough to allow you to carry him away.
Tell me you have some plan to further your ends.
[ He sets aside his empty cup, raising a hand to place against his cheek. ]
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Must you frame it so predatory? Truly, not everyone practices your style of pursuit.
[Though, he's only getting this huffy about it because...well, he does plant to wear him down after a fashion. He knows it's what's necessary, and if he weren't so confident that this is indeed what Dirk likely wants in his heart of hearts, nor that this is what Dirk truly needs, he'd leave him be altogether.]
And I said naught about being in love. I'd like to believe myself past such folly.
[Like to, but is not claiming to actually be so.]
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[ There’s that scowl he knows and loves. ]
Your wording betrays you, my dear Angel of Truth. We waste air merely pretending it isn’t so. You have access to his rooms. What will be your first plan of attack?
no subject
[He waves him on, sourly taking a drink of his coffee to punctuate the dismissal.]
If you are implying I might ambush him in his personal chambers with some underhanded tactic, I will not. I wish to win him back, not rob him of his dignity.
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[He raises his eyebrows and turns his head slightly.]
Nay, nay I mean no such thing. It is merely a turn of phrase. Have I really worn your confidence in me so?
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[He retorts flatly. Still finding the familiar way in which they talk about memories of Hythlodaeus' strange, but now isn't the time to think too hard on that.]
But less that my confidence in you is worn, and more...well.
[Glancing at Hythlodaeus for a moment, he then flicks his gaze away from him, as if almost embarrassed.]
You see...when it comes to messy departures, I would say that one has little competition for the throne...in more ways than one.
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[ He arranges his hands on his friend’s lap, raising his brows to press him on. ]
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We may have...gotten carried away in our...conflicting sorrows and--passions.
[A beat as Hades' expression grows more grim, with a touch of self-disgust.]
We may have had ourselves a, ah, [he gestures vaguely with one hand,] departing tryst, in a manner of speaking...
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...That is not necessarily bad. Unless it was part of what made it so messy?
[ He adjusts his hands to place one on either of his thighs, a respectful distance from the goods. ]
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[Both literal and figurative. He does notice Hythlodaeus' hands, but he refrains from commenting. If one wanted to give Hythlodaeus the benefit of the doubt, they'd assume this is a gesture for comforting. hades knows better, yet he refrains. Maybe he likes the...proximity.]
It is largely why I wish to give him some space. I--did not act my best, which I should not have allowed my emotions to get the better of me, but...
I knew he did not want me to go, even as he bade me to, I knew he needed my companionship, but he did not make such an easy task. He can be rather scathing when upset--and I do realize the irony behind my commenting on such. I am ever self-aware.
no subject
So you... Presumably you confessed your sins to him, he retaliated by telling you that I’m not quite-so-real, it escalated, you two had... I hope it was good as a matter of parting, at least.
[ Careful not to spill his coffee, he moves his hands around his hips and drags him into his lap. ]
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[He hisses back at him bitterly. Though, it's hard to tell if that bitterness is because of denial or that he's angry that Hythlodaeus would entertain the possibility that it wasn't. Or, maybe he's just sore about this whole thing.
Maybe it's all of it.]
But it mattered little, because once we were done he cast me aside all the same! Not that I thought us making love would...change anything, but...
[Maybe he had hoped. Foolishly.]
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It would be foolish of him to not take you back, don’t you think? You need only to see it through.
no subject
[The rubbing...helps, as is obvious with how the tension seems to be subsiding just a touch. But not near enough to make the deeper pain and tension go away. The embarrassment of it all, the shame...]
...Or perhaps 'twas I who seized the role of the fool. 'Tis no matter, it takes far more than spurning and disappointment to discourage me.
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[ He sighs, resting his cheek upon the crown of his head. ]
...You can be foolish at times, yet that is how it goes, is it not? It is impossible to know a man’s mind so soon in a place such as this.
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[Truly, his tenacity and ambition is something to admire, but his obstinance...well, is another matter.
Regardless of all that, he knows he shouldn't be indulging in this comfort. Not when he knows that Dirk is alone right now, more than likely. No one to listen to him, no one to comfort him...]
There is some truth to that, yes, but...he and I are very similar, to a degree almost haunting. Though, it has been a comfort, I confess, finding one who can understand my travails, the weight of my burden...we have shared much with each other--yet he more than I.
Mayhap...that was my mistake--beyond the obvious, of course.
no subject
You really do love him, then. [ Not as if he doesn’t know this, but it confirms something slightly dark inside of him. ]
Did you tell him so?
[ And besides, Dirk could have had someone to comfort him... yet he assured that he wouldn’t. ]
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Then, quietly and full of woe and regret:]
I did indeed. I should not have.
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[ He lets out a breath, thinking. ]
He is young. I wouldn’t lose hope just yet.
[ He pauses, unable to contain his question. ]
How did he react?
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His face twists with a grimace, with regret and frustration with both himself and this entire situation. Then he shakes his head.]
...We should stop. I believe the answer is clear, besides. After all, I am here in your arms, and not his, am I not?