She has to be summoned, but she's got this friend, Shinobu, that can do that. And I think my future self was learning how to do it too.
Anyway, they'd both-- well, mostly they needed to get away from everyone. Go somewhere quieter and just-- either lie down and not do anything for a while or lose themselves in a project. They both had hobbies, you know. Dad did pyrography--that is, wood-burning? And Charley did all kinds of things. Cooking. A lot of textile work. And writing. She was good at writing fiction, which I've never been--such a strong imagination, a real ear for dialog--she had some really great shit, both original works and fanworks. I even beta-read some of the fanfic when it was a fandom we shared.
But, I mean, the important thing for them is that they had some space to just-- get away from everything. And time to not force themselves to pretend to be normal people. That's why I told you that you don't have to force yourself to do normal people facial expressions and shit around me. Because while you don't really pretend to be a normal person, not exactly, outwardly emoting for other people does still count a little for that? And acting all the time is fucking tiring, even if it's something you do as easy as breathing.
I think with people like us--people with minds which are fundamentally different from other people's--whether it's what I have, what Charley has, or both of those--we just... need some time and space sometimes where we can be ourselves without pretense. Be psychopaths or autistics or-- or cognitive constructs brought to life. Because pretending to be someone you're not is so goddamn stressful.
That's what I didn't, couldn't tell Hades. That you come to hang out with me because I know who you are. I mean. He's right. I don't know Hythlodaeus of Amaurot at all. I don't-- have the kind of grasp of his fundamental character that years of familiarity and love has given Hades. But I know this you, the you that you are now, the you that's helping me get my head on straight, the you that's actually deeply worried and messed up because he came to life when he wasn't supposed to, that loves his ex-boyfriend enough to make friends with a guy he should by all rights hate just to make peace and--
Look. I don't know Original You. But I like You You, Hythlo. I like this version of you a lot. And-- fuck. I don't know. You can always be yourself around me, okay? I don't care how alien that is. Everyone deserves space to be themselves.
[There's a moment of silence.]
Sorry. I didn't mean to go all friendship speech on you like that. But I do mean it, Hythlo.
no subject
Anyway, they'd both-- well, mostly they needed to get away from everyone. Go somewhere quieter and just-- either lie down and not do anything for a while or lose themselves in a project. They both had hobbies, you know. Dad did pyrography--that is, wood-burning? And Charley did all kinds of things. Cooking. A lot of textile work. And writing. She was good at writing fiction, which I've never been--such a strong imagination, a real ear for dialog--she had some really great shit, both original works and fanworks. I even beta-read some of the fanfic when it was a fandom we shared.
But, I mean, the important thing for them is that they had some space to just-- get away from everything. And time to not force themselves to pretend to be normal people. That's why I told you that you don't have to force yourself to do normal people facial expressions and shit around me. Because while you don't really pretend to be a normal person, not exactly, outwardly emoting for other people does still count a little for that? And acting all the time is fucking tiring, even if it's something you do as easy as breathing.
I think with people like us--people with minds which are fundamentally different from other people's--whether it's what I have, what Charley has, or both of those--we just... need some time and space sometimes where we can be ourselves without pretense. Be psychopaths or autistics or-- or cognitive constructs brought to life. Because pretending to be someone you're not is so goddamn stressful.
That's what I didn't, couldn't tell Hades. That you come to hang out with me because I know who you are. I mean. He's right. I don't know Hythlodaeus of Amaurot at all. I don't-- have the kind of grasp of his fundamental character that years of familiarity and love has given Hades. But I know this you, the you that you are now, the you that's helping me get my head on straight, the you that's actually deeply worried and messed up because he came to life when he wasn't supposed to, that loves his ex-boyfriend enough to make friends with a guy he should by all rights hate just to make peace and--
Look. I don't know Original You. But I like You You, Hythlo. I like this version of you a lot. And-- fuck. I don't know. You can always be yourself around me, okay? I don't care how alien that is. Everyone deserves space to be themselves.
[There's a moment of silence.]
Sorry. I didn't mean to go all friendship speech on you like that. But I do mean it, Hythlo.