[The kiss shocks him to reality, and there's an intense yet short war within himself over it. On one hand, the affection is certainly a balm to his aching soul, a comfort he's needed without fully realizing it. On the other, they are talking about him winning Dirk back after losing him for his infidelity with Hythlodaeus. Hythlodaeus, who is not actually the one he lost, but a fake he made and then was tricked by.

The war was over how to react, but the nuzzling against him sends both warmth through him and inspires goosebumps, and he's left frozen in place at the moment.

When he goes to speak, he realizes he was holding his breath.]

...Yes, but if I act too slowly he think me uncaring--yet too quickly, and I would worry he'd feel more obligation than true desire for me.